One of the problems that many people who have been victims of abuse face is the difficulty of speaking to others about it. Many victims blame themselves for becoming victims, as if the situation was something they could control.
It is common for those who have been victims of abuse in the past to feel as if it is their fault that they have become a victim of abuse a second time. Perhaps it is something they have done that makes them deserve this kind of treatment, or it is something that is wrong with them that makes others treat them this way. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
The reality is that abusive behavior is the choice another person makes. A nursing home attendant has to choose to abuse a patient, for example, even though they know that it is unacceptable behavior.
Some people find it hard to report that an abusive situation has occurred. This is partially because of the view of abusive relationships in society. Many people take the opinion that the first time is an accident or that it is the abuser’s fault. However, a second time starts to draw questions about what the victim has done to deserve it. It is fair to say that victims never deserve to be injured or abused in the ways seen in many elder abuse cases.
Abuse is about power. A nurse, a family member or one-time friend knows that the victim cannot fight back. They know that the person will not speak out against them. This entire situation is about control, but you can take away that control by speaking out and making a complaint.
